The Two Towers: Condensed Parody Version:

GANDALF: Hey, kids. Miss me?



ARAGORN: Gandalf! You're alive!



LEGOLAS: I almost had a facial expression from the joy of it!



ARAGORN: Hmm. This must be a dream.



ARWEN: Why do you say that?



ARAGORN: Because you're not even supposed to be IN this book.



ROHIRRIM GUARD: Sire, there are some really femmy people at the gate. They have bows.



ARAGORN: Those are Elves. Let them in.



ROHIRRIM GUARD: Oh! Elves! Wow, I didn't expect that.



PEOPLE WHO READ THE BOOK: Neither did I...



GIMLI: Aragorn! Toss me!



ARAGORN: Um, is this really the time?

There's more where that came from. Thanks to Eve Tushnet for the link.

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